44 Life Lessons – Part 2

By November 22, 2016 No Comments

In the previous post, I shared with you 22 of 44 life lessons to honor my 44th birthday. I think it’s so important to reflect on our life and learnings and share them with others. So here is the second half of my 44 life lessons. There is an opportunity for you to participate after #34. I hope you will.

23. Good is good enough- Perfection is a myth. Instead of beating myself up these days about something not being exactly right, I give myself permission to not be perfect and to feel satisfied with what I create. It alleviates a ton of weight on my shoulders and that feels good.

24. Mom knows best- Moms are the head of the family in the sense that we make decisions on what we think is best for our families and everyone else usually goes along with it. We set the tone and pace for our families and when we go within and trust our intuition, we know exactly what to do. I’ve learned to drown out the outside noise and trust my own inner knowing that I know what’s best for my family. So do you.

25. Family first- What I know is no one will be there like family will. At least that has been my experience. Friends, lovers and others can come and go throughout our lifetime, but there is a peace in knowing that family will remain through thick and thin. Let’s cherish and nurture these relationships, because it’s easy to take them for granted and forget what matters most.

26. We aren’t meant to do it alone- We are social creatures. We thrive in collaborations and seek external experiences with others. So many of us think we have to do it alone. We are afraid of bothering others and seeming needy or dependent. The reality is people love to help. By allowing others in and letting them use their desire to make a difference, you are actually giving THEM a gift. There’s no need to suffer in silence. We aren’t meant to do it alone.

27. What we focus on expands- Our minds are so powerful. I have learned that my experience is all in my head, and from there my reality is created. If I want my life to work for me, then I must focus on what I want and what I have that is already working. By default, my mind used to go to the negative and what is wrong or not working. When I did that, I was never happy. Once I learned to shift my focus to what is right and good in the world and in my life, I became happy and got more of it.

28. Travel is the best education- I love to travel. My whole family are avid world travelers. I’ve been exposed to many cultures and lifestyles throughout my lifetime. My greatest lessons, adventures and experiences have all come from travel. My expanded viewpoint is what it is today, because of my exposure to other ways of being and living. I am more grateful for what I have. I have more compassion for others. I have a great appreciation for art, food and culture in general because of my travels. One of my big Why’s for seeking financial freedom is so I can travel more with and without my kids.

29. Failure is necessary- So many of us fear failing so we never even try. So what if you fail? It’s actually a good thing, because it gives new information about what to do or not do next time. It is an opportunity to learn about what works and what doesn’t. It is simply information. I’d rather fail than not try at all and miss out on truly living.

30. It’s better to experience love than to be right- Oh my goodness, this is a huge one for me! I have no idea where my need to be right came from, but boy it sure has run my life and is still a work in progress today. I have learned that the need to be right causes a distancing from others and can be detrimental to loving relationships. Who cares if you are right or I am? It really doesn’t matter. I get this intellectually, but putting it into practice is another story. A lesson I’m still learning…

31. Change is good- I don’t know if it’s because I grew up in a two household family, but change was a normal part of my childhood. I never saw it as a bad thing and in fact, I crave change as an adult. So many people fear change because with it comes the unknown. That can be scary, but with change there is also opportunity. There is the chance to create something new and different and that is good.

32. Simple is best- I think I learned this one after becoming a mom. I’ve always been one to overcomplicate things in my head. That would lead to overwhelm and inaction. As a coach, I have learned that people want small, digestible learning and action steps. We tend to overcomplicate and it doesn’t serve us. Today, I always look for a way to simplify and create a sense of ease. Simple is my new mantra.

33. Interdependence is ideal- I grew up in a family of very independent women. I used to pride myself on the fact that I was so independent. Who needs a man, after all? Dependence was bad. Independence good. Since then, I have learned of a word called interdependence, which is actually more in service to wholeness than independence. Being too independent, didn’t allow me to have give and take relationships. It kept intimacy at bay and didn’t allow others to give in a way that they wanted to. Interdependence is healthy and allows me to still be independent, but also to depend on another sometimes which actually gives me more of a sense of security and closeness than before. It’s been a good lesson.

34. Abundance is a state of mind- I always thought if I had a lot of something it meant someone else had a little. I always focused on wanting more and feeling like I never had enough. I think this is pretty common. However, I have learned that we are all abundant and that there is enough for everyone. When we focus on what we do have and show gratitude for it, it feels like enough. Anywhere we look there is proof of abundance. Love is in abundance and so is material things. In fact, I’ve had to practice learning to let go of stuff. We all have way more than we need of everything really. I have leaned to shift into an abundance mindset so that a) I can feel good about what I do have right now and b) I can attract more of what I have that matters to me.

Ok… so I need a little help here. I am 10 lessons short of 44. I guess I still have stuff to learn.

So can you help me out? What are some of your greatest life lessons? I’d like you to help me come up with the last 10 and I will share them in my next post. You can comment directly on my blog or email me at [email protected] to share your life lessons with me. Thank you so much.

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JUSTINE ARIAN, CPCC Certified Professional Co-Active Coach

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